To the dickbag who bumped into me at Starbuck and spilled two venti hot choclates on my jacket
WTF? Did you not get the memo, it’s the middle of fucking summer - why are you still drinking hot chocolate?
It is not my fault (so don’t even think of looking at mein that way) that you sidled up behind me and stood thisclose to me as I garnished my coffee - did you expect me to side-step it sideways out the door. No one in their right mind sneaks up behind someone with two hot beverages in their hands unless they want 2nd and 3rd degree burns on their testicles.
Did there have to be whipped cream on both? What, do you have a pair of kidnapped kids waiting for you in your white van that’s idling outside?
Fuck! Now I’m going to have to go home and change, or buy a new outfit because my jacket isn’t wearable anymore.
